I hate my life?

ok don't tell me to get help or talk to a trusted adult or anything because i definitely won't! ok so lately i have just been hating my life! now for the past like year all my really good friends have all been getting into guys and dating and just abandoning me for the guys. But i always had my very best friend, tracy, who never abandoned me for a guy or anything! and we always got along really well. but then we got a job as gymnastics coaches together and she is always hanging out w/ the other coaches more than me. which i know i cant have her all to myself but she always tell me that i am her best friend and how there is no one she would rather hang out with then me. But now it seems like we are less close then we have ever been! so i basically feel like i have NO friends whatsoever and no one i can talk to anymore. i feel like i am going insane! now i would NEVER commit suicide cause i am just not that kind of person, but i have thought about it because of this. what should i do??